“A door is something my cat is aways on the wrong side of; and these days I think I know exactly how she feels.”

You have to choose.  You have no choice.  And you have to choose *this* way.  Or else.

This is where we are now.

On virtually every issue facing us, this is where we are now.

We’re told that we must choose a side.  And must do it right away.  Taking time to think about the issues or events, to consider how to choose, or even whether to choose is considered weakness, at least; or even worse, cowardice; or at the worst, complicity.  And then, having chosen, we are condemned by one side or the other.  Every choice now carries significant risk.  We may find ourselves threatened, attacked, vilified.  We find our lives, our professions, our families, everything we love, value, and need, being threatened, being destroyed.

Do you support Israel or Palestine?  Quickly!  Choose!  What’s that?  You support Israel?  So, you have no compassion for the suffering of the Palestinians, then!  You support the Palestinians?  So, you’re antisemitic, then!  What’s that?  You’re not taking sides?  Then the Zionists win!  Then Hamas wins!

Do you support Donald Trump, or Joe Biden?  Quick!  Choose!  Right now!  Today!  We’re taking a poll and we want to know who’s ahead, who’s winning.  Right now!  At this very moment!  Are you for Democracy or for fascism?  These are your only choices.  Ten months away from the election, these are your only choices.  What do you mean you’re studying the issues, trying to decide if there are any other possibilities?  What do you mean you don’t know yet how you’ll vote in the election?  Why do you hate democracy?

You say you don’t have enough information?  Why can’t you see that the answer is obvious; that there’s only one right answer, one right choice?  The situation is still developing?  Don’t you see that’s why you have to choose now?  If you wait for developments, you might choose differently, choose wrongly.  If you wait for things to change, then you’ll be to blame if they don’t change the way we want them to.  If they do change the way we want, then you’ll be left out, left behind.

We no longer have any patience for patience; we deliberately eschew deliberation; consideration has become inconsiderate; careful thought is recklessly unthinkable.

The world has become too complex for simple answers.  And simultaneously expectant of exactly those answers. 

There does come a point in most issues where a decision needs to be made, of course.  Life is always about choices.  Most of them are simple, mundane, spontaneous.  And the consequences of the choices are fairly immediate, not life-threatening, and clearly connected to the immediate choice.  Do you want chicken or fish for dinner?  Choose now or take what you get.  Should I wear the blue shirt, or the plaid?  Choose and discover whether you feel awkward or attractive. 

All our choices then lead inevitably to more choices.  Buy the new sofa and you realize the chair no longer matches.  You’ll have to get a cover for that.  Love that new pattern, but the rug doesn’t really fit any more.  Maybe you should paint the walls, get new curtains.  The living room looks great, but now the kitchen is looking like it needs some TLC.

But there are choices we need to make that can have literal life-and-death consequences for us, our community, our nation, our world.  Some are directly in our control, of course.  If I drive carelessly or dangerously, I may risk anything from a ticket and a fine to an accident that results in injury or death.  Such consequences are foreseeable and require us to take personal responsibility. 

The choices we make about larger issues and events, however, often have consequences that are just as serious, but which may seem somewhat distant from us, don’t affect us directly or immediately, don’t create any sense of individual responsibility.  Such choices, like who we support in an election, require us to understand our actions as part of the group, rather than just ourselves.  These decisions should be made with deliberation and thoughtfulness, based on the best information and evidence available to us.  Quick, emotion-driven choices can create the kinds of consequences that can take decades to unravel.

Choices of great import and vast consequence also have a moral component.  We need to consider the choices in light of what we believe, what our priorities are, what compromises we’re willing to make, how we wish to be seen in all our humanness by those whose opinions and esteem we most value.  These are the choices that are often presented to us with the loudest, most insistent, most passionate voices, by people with agendas we may or may not share.  These decisions should be approached, even if they need to be made quickly, with clarity of mind and conscience, lest we find ourselves in serious conflict with our deepest, most personal selves.

How much of the divisiveness and polarization of our society could be lessened if we allowed ourselves and others to make our own choices in our own way, without judgment, without blame, without categorization and without the simplistic reductiveness of either/or?  If we really want to find effective, comprehensive solutions to the problems we face, we need to learn to engage the fullness of our choices and choose as effectively as possible.  We need to find, each of us and the collective whole, the best answers we can, not just the quickest or most immediate or the most convenient.  And certainly not the ones promoted by the loudest voices or the most passionate.